Check this out. According to this article on MSNBC.com on the ‘Sea Change’ that’s occurring in American households: many men want their wives to work, but they aren’t willing to share the load at home. Big suprise….
“After years of being conditioned to believe that men relish the role of primary provider, researchers were surprised to discover that just 12 percent of men surveyed said they’d mind if their wife earned more than they do, and in general men seemed happy to share the breadwinner role.”
“Experts attribute that in part to men not wanting to bear the sole burden of providing for their families. In fact, 35 percent of men and 40 percent of women surveyed said a key benefit of having a spouse make money is that it alleviates the pressure of being the only financial provider.
“It is a very tough era to be a sole breadwinner,” Lever noted.
“Nevertheless, although men appeared to happily cede the stress of being the primary breadwinner, they aren’t yet always picking up as much slack on the home front. More than 40 percent of women say they do more than their share of housework — and 29 percent of men agree.”
“The male ego as head of household seems to have diminished to the point of disappearance,” said Rosanna Hertz, chair of women’s studies at Wellesley College and one of the researchers involved in the Elle/msnbc.com study. “However, men are still dragging their feet in terms of domestic responsibilities.”
I get why this trend sucks for women who want to stay home with their kids and I also get why this trend is great. I’m proud that the women’s liberal movement has made enough headway that not only are more women working but they’re not afraid to make more than their husbands. AND I feel great about the fact that men aren’t feeling bad about it. But my guess is this sample survey isn’t a great representation. I think a lot of men would feel lost, disoriented, troubled and depressed if their wives were more financially successful than they were. I think that’s totally ridiculous. To be frank I don’t get why roles are solely defined by your sex. Some women are more suited to the aggressive world of climbing the corporate ladder while many men are more suited to being fatherly and nurturing. And yet our patriarchal society is set up to condemn both and force people not suited to certain jobs into them. I think that explains much of the unhappiness and disappointment in marriage. Roles are never discussed – just assumed.
I also think it’s CRAP that so many men expect their wives to work (inside or outside of the house) and yet aren’t willing to pick up their share of the load inside the house. I have to say that I love that Wes and I take our roles and can move and change with them as we get older and our family develops. I love that Wes has an open mind and giving heart when it comes to sharing roles in AND out of the house. You’re the best Wes!