Having a Life / Learning to be happy / The state of the economy

How to Avoid Almost All Hardships and Trials

Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to bad people, too. So how do you know whether bad things are happening to you because of something you did or just because it’s an act of God?

I think people bring on a lot of their own issues. We trip ourselves up all the time. Today at church the speakers (who were fabulous) said we have trials for three reasons: 1) mistakes me make 2) mistakes other people made that affect us, and 3) because it’s God’s will (to mold our characters, help us change our lives, help us grow, etc.)

I’d really like to avoid tribulation. I think I’m like Job in that way – I’m looking for every possible escape route to avoid them. Especially #1 and #2. It doesn’t seem like anything can be done about #3, unfortunately. 🙂 So how can we avoid most tribulations?

  • Don’t make any mistakes. This one is pretty straightforward and should be very hard. Just don’t screw up! Ever!
  • Don’t get married. If you get married, your husband might disappoint you. He might not have the perfect job which lets you stay home. He might get laid off and you’ll be broke and annoyed. He might cheat on you and you’ll be left with his shame and your kids. He might mess up and go to jail (Wes and I both have family members in jail and their wives are trying to raise 3 kids alone). He might not treat you very well. In short, there are a lot of variables when you decide to merge your life with someone else’s. In order to avoid all tribulation caused by the other sex, just avoid them altogether.
  • Don’t have children. Having no partner, husband, boyfriend, etc. will hopefully prevent you from having any children. And if you do, then you missed the point of  my first point. Not having children is a good thing to do if you’re trying to avoid hardships. Kids are full of them. Kids might hate you. Kids might disobey you to the point where it brings shame, drama, heartache and frustration (ie tribulation). Kids might make mistakes you can’t control and bring misfortune to their own lives and their own families. Kids might get hurt by other people and that will also bring heartache and sorrow to your life. To avoid all of this, you should avoid having children. They just makes life messy.
  • Get a job that’s 100% rock-solid job. You really need to get a career with absolutely no potential fall-out. I recommend this because if you lose your job you will probably have financial troubles and these can lead to trials and hardships. Financial issues ruin a lot of marriages (which you don’t need to worry about, of course) but they will still cause drama in your life. What are some examples of some rock solid jobs? Hmmm, they aren’t in the auto industry. Or in finance. Or in construction. Or in the medical field. Or in any field that I can think of, but I’m sure they’re out there and you need to find one to avoid trials.
  • Run Away from the Government. Avoid living in any country that makes rules that might make your life harder. These parts of the world might increase your taxes and take away your hard-earned money. They might make decisions for you and prohibit your kids (which you won’t have) from going to the school of their choice. They might turn corrupted and make bad decisions that put you out of a job (which won’t happen if you follow my fourth point) or put you out of your home. They might take your money and give it to other people. They might fund failing companies and put the country in a deep recession.  They might choose to go to war when it seems futile to you and you might have to go to war. Trust me, you do not want this to happen to you. Avoid living in countries like these. Consider running to Antarctica. I hear it’s nice there this time of year.

Hopefully you’ve caught the satire here. Life is messy. Sometimes it will totally suck. And sometimes (albeit these times are more fleeting) it will rock. But no man is an island. We’re in it together and the mistakes of our family, our neighbors, and most evidently, our government affect us.  We can sit and cry all day long but it won’t make anything better, because that’s not what we’re here to do. This is our only shot at living life. We need to find a way to enjoy it.

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3 thoughts on “How to Avoid Almost All Hardships and Trials

  1. I am definitely not one to ask for more trials in my life. I would also like to avoid them like the plague! But I learned something interesting a little while ago. I used to write down something each day that I am grateful for. Do you know what the majority of them were? Things that I had just had a problem with. For instance, I would write down how grateful I am for my usual good health while I was sick or how grateful I am for electricity after the power had gone out. My theory is that trials make us more grateful, and even happier overall, after we get through them. Just remind me of that next time I am complaining about something…

  2. Wow, this is something I could go off about for a long, LONG time. I had a communications professor who pretty much designed his life to achieve just that – no tribulations. Well, no heartache, disappointment or sadness in any way. He did it with his 3 rules (well, amongst a number of other things such as your pnts 1 & 2): 1-have no expectations; 2-accept everything as it is; 3-it’s not about you… ever.
    And while I do agree they are great guidelines to reduce stress, I think it’s also a great way to build a bubble around yourself and pretty much miss the boat on what life is all about.

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