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Tweeting Like a Fat Kid

I have a love/hate relationship with most social mediums. Twitter is no exception. I would have to say it’s mostly a hate relationship. Twitter makes me feel like the fat kid in elementary school who always gets picked last for crab soccer.  I feel unpopular, uncomfortable, and ineffective on Twitter. Here’s why:

  • No Instant Feedback. When I blog, I can look and see how popular, or unpopular, my posts were. I see traffic counts, visits to my blog, where they came from, etc. And I have people leave comments, which – as any blogger knows – is like the feeling of a sugar rush after a snow cone. Twitter leaves me feeling empty and insecure.  I try to gain insight from the popular tweeters like Dooce who has 367,000 followers (I have 30) and instead of feeling motivated I just feel like I’m in high school trying desperately to fit into the cool club. “Hey guys call me! OK? OK??”
  • It’s totally foreign. Maybe I’m too old for Tweeting. Too un-Gen-Y. There’s all these new phrases like Twitterific and Tweedeck and Twhirrl that I can’t even spell, let alone utilize. I need a translator by my side every time I log in to see what else in Twitter is new. How’s a girl like me who chases a toddler around most of the day while juggling three clients supposed to keep up? Yes, I know I’m whining, but seriously – learning Twitter is harder than learning French.
  • You can’t really say what you mean. If you’re using Twitter for business, you can’t just say “hey look at my business – check me out and buy my products.” If you use Twitter for business you have to be sleek. It’s all marketing. It’s all networking. But it’s both of those things cloaked in “Hi I’m really super interesting and just doing this for fun. I haven’t even thought about using this to get ahead.” I’m not a veiled kind of person EVER. I mean what I say and I say exactly what I mean. And I’m really literal – so all this playful skirting around  is really hard for me. On Twitter it’s like you have to try to be cool and popular without looking like you’re trying to be cool and popular. All of this is mind boggling for me.
  • Tweets are shallow. Let’s face it,  no one is really saying anything on Twitter. At least not things that actually matter. Unless you’re linking to something else you can’t say anything with much depth. I mean how deep can you be in 140 characters? Actually, I’m sure there are people witty enough to say something good on Twitter, but I don’t think I’m that person. I’m the fat kid, remember?

Ok so I’m reading a book on how to Tweet and I’ll let you know if I feel any improvement. But if anyone has any suggestions, I’d appreciate it!

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7 thoughts on “Tweeting Like a Fat Kid

  1. Oh man, you are much more brave than I am to enter the Twitter world. First of all, don’t compare to Dooce. It’s way too much pressure.

    I don’t have any suggestions – I can’t even come up with a clever Twitter name so I am Twitterless.

  2. I know what you mean… I’ve been on a bit of a twitter fast lately. It’s intimidating! And I signed up for Qwitter. That was a terrible mistake. One guy quit following me and I was crushed. And I don’t even know him! Silly.

  3. So I love Twitter, I really do (and I hate Dooce, BTW). But it was hard to figure it out. I mean, I get it and what it’s supposed to be, but I started it primarily as a business tool for Gold’s. I created the account “@Golds_Gym_Utah” and started to send out a few tweets, but nothing big. And people just kept on following me. I don’t get why – it’s got to be the brand recognition and the fact that no other Gold’s Gyms are really Twittering, but I kept on getting more and more followers without doing anything much.
    But I think Twitter can’t be the end-all. As far as business applications, it needs to inform your other online outlets and direct traffic to your site. Similarly, it can be a great networking tool. As you re-Tweet other tweets, you start to ingratiate yourself to other tweeters (I know I appreciate and remember whenever anyone re-tweets one of my tweets).
    Using Twitter for my personal life would be tougher. Facebook is difficult enough because of its impersonality. I don’t think I’ll ever go there.

  4. I think I know how you feel . . . except I haven’t tried Twitter yet — too twittified to put my toe in it. I just don’t get why people would be interested in up-to-the minute updates of what I’m doing. Just read your husband’s post and now I’m REALLY daunted. Am pulling the covers up over my head.

  5. I have struggled wrapping my head around Twitter too. I first created an account and made my tweets private, only allowing family to follow me. That has been a fun quick way to post personal things, funny things my kids do etc. But then I started following some other people, mostly other photographers and found myself really intrigued with their tweets.

    So now I have two twitter accounts. One private one and the other one not. I am most intrigued with the networking/marketing value of my public account. I am still new to it, but I think from a marketing perspective, it brings a business or company to life. Following a photographer, or business of some sort on Twitter instantly makes them more human, rather than some lifeless entity.

    So now I’m interested in what you learn from that book. What is it btw?

  6. Twitter is what you make of it. Yes, it is another platform for web (and other) celebrities to have a monologue, but that, to me, is NOT what social networking is all about. Its about networking, building relationships, conversations, sharing information etc. Twitter does not have to be as narcisistic as it seems. It can be a great way to communicate with like-minded people. It is getting a lot of leverage with PR folks right now.

    I would start by searching for local people. Also, try following some other businesses and see what they do on twitter (@southwestairlines @overstock.com @ebay_events, etc. etc.)

    Those are my compressed two cents. Probably more like Canadian pennies now.

    BTW I just started following Golds Gym and White Rabbit. 🙂

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