Having a Life / Learning to be happy

HS Reunions and Married Life

Last weekend was my husband’s 10 year reunion. Not only did we go, but my husband was (unluckily for me) Class President, so we were in charge of it. But it was actually fun. My husband planned the entire thing by himself, we had it at the Crimson Room at the University of Utah, overlooking Salt Lake City at sunset. It was a beautiful room, the food was good, and the people were really nice. I got to be the cashier at the front desk. Since I didn’t go to school with my husband, and therefore didn’t really know anybody, I “manned” the money table.

Being the cashier was perfectly entertaining. I got a front-row seat to meet all the people my husband went to school with – and I got to people-watch to my heart’s desire.

The ones I paid most attention to were the girls who came alone to the reunion. That hit close to home. I was that girl/woman for a long time. I was never the type to always have a boyfriend – I didn’t like men enough to keep them around just for company, so I was always the girl who went to company parties, events, movies, etc. alone. And I went – just like these girls – with my head held high, daring anyone to question my independence. Looking at this girls at the HS reunion made me respect them. And it made me so grateful that I’m married.

I keep wondering why so many people are getting divorced. I’m not talking about the people who really need to get out. I’m talking about the people who want “out” because they’re bored. I’m so over it. They think their life will be happier if they are single again or with someone else. Why would you choose to leave this life? Being married comes with its challenges, but c’mon! Don’t get me wrong – I was happy single. But being married is so much more fulfilling, so much less lonely, so much more fun, so much more comfortable. At least for me.

I think the reality of life is that most of the time happiness is a choice. The people I know who weren’t happy single aren’t happy married either. And if you’re unhappy in your marriage, you’ll probably be unhappy divorced. Because the problem is probably YOU! So any relationship you carry yourself to is going to have a dysfunctional element to it. I think people need to stop living the illusion that if you can just have something different you’ll be happy. Maybe true happiness comes from choosing to make the best out of what you’ve got. What do you think?

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One thought on “HS Reunions and Married Life

  1. In my view, it is ALL about expectations. A person’s perceived state of happiness and well-being is wholly shaped by her expectations.

    In short, how we define “happiness” will determine whether we have it.

    Comprendo’? (Because I am so not a philospher!)

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