Escaping to Read / Having a Life

Music Movies and Marriage

The second time I met my husband he said to me – out of the blue – “we really need to discuss your musical taste. I went through your music at your house and it made me cringe.” Excusez-moi? This was pre- me falling madly in love with him, so I just stared at him like he was a mere placeholder and laughed.

But after a few dates and me figuring out he was perfect, I came to realize that he is an incredibly music snob. And that he is usually right about music. Ok maybe always. It’s been difficult to maintain my own sort of musical identity being married to such a strong musical influence. He scoffs at Kelly Clarkson, rolls his eyes whenever Taylor Swift comes on, makes fun of all my Top 40 or R&B, and won’t even discuss listening to Dixie Chicks. Ok maybe I don’t have great taste when it comes to music – but I just like songs I can sing along to.

I seriously find myself stuttering when people ask me what kind of music I like. I think to myself: “what would he say” and then I sputter “um Radiohead. ColdPlay.” and that’s always the only two that come to mind. I can’t ever seem to get out all the others:  Imogen Heap, A Fine Frenzy, almost all Opera and Broadway numbers,  Norah Jones, Snow Patrol, Beck, Pink, Gwen Stefani…I just sit and try to channel my husband….And this is coming from me: a Type A, strong-willed feminist with clear ideals, opinions, and goals with a dominant personality to boot.

I feel so insecure listening to my music in the car with him, it’s unimaginable. He has so influenced what I think is good or bad that I can’t hardly bear to control the radio station in front of him. So throughout our marriage I have refused to let him also influence me in the only other arena in which he has strong opinions: Movies.

We do movies separately – me with my girls and him with his friends. That way I can enjoy my girl movies with relaxed pleasure, never wondering if he’s lurking in the background puking at my chick flicks.

So you can perhaps imagine my surprise today when I found him playing music from my all time favorite movie (this month) New Moon. New Moon. Twilight Saga New Moon that my husband has teased me atrociously for devouring in book form and patronizing in movie form multiple times when it’s still in theaters.  It seems today for the first time our worlds have collided. He likes something I like! It felt like a victory.

Here is one of my favorite songs from the movie set to clips from the show. I dare you not to cry!


4 thoughts on “Music Movies and Marriage

  1. I’m pretty sure that Sabrina feels the same way. Early into dating I took her to Las Vegas to see Sigur Ros. For me is was mind blowing, but for her I think she just tolerated it. We listened to my “weird” music all the way down. Somehow she was able to look past my music snobbery.

    I love Lykke Li by the way…

  2. I totally understand. I think i’m way more able to tolerate his music than Josh mine. One of the few things I miss about being single is singing out loud to music and watching chick flicks with you.

  3. Oh, there your blog is. Loved your comments on Pres. Holland’s talk and your testimony. Liked listening to Possibilities too. You have a way with words!

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