Fitz / Raising a Toddler

I’m Pretty Sure My Son is an Empath

My-son-is-an-empath

I mean I’m not saying he’s a superhero, but he totally might be….Maybe it is just his way of connecting with the world, but I’m pretty sure my 2 year old is a natural born emphath. Even as a baby he was uber-emotionally connective. He just seemed to know that we needed to work with Holden on things and was really patient like “I know you’re going through a lot, so I’ll just be patient.”

And then there was that entire year where he couldn’t hear anything because his ears were swimming in fluid and we didn’t know because he was so patient, loving and non-complaining. And not just that, but it’s like he was so in tune with everything he could tell if you were the slightest bit upset. If he saw anything remotely moving on TV he would cry. Like in CARS movie when Lightning Mcqueen and Sally talk about how the town used to be, he would get all teary-eyed. As a tiny thing!

After we got tubes in his ears last May 2012, it made a huge difference to his hearing. I could tell right away because he no longer looked sea sick when he stood up, and he started walking a few days later. And he didn’t like the vacuum or loud noises anymore.

But he still wasn’t speaking. I know, I know – everyone tells me about stories where kids don’t speak until 3 and then they talk in full sentences, but really with the amount of work we put into working on his speech, he should have been saying something. And he wasn’t.

He would go around connecting without words and almost existing outside of language. We would all sit down to say prayer and he’d just cock his head to the side like what we were doing was so foreign. And we’d been doing it since he was born! He just didn’t participate. . . .In anything we wanted him to do. But we could totally tell he knew what we were saying. Months of speech were a bust because he just didn’t even understand the purpose of speech; he communicated what he needed through facial expressions and  didn’t even care that he was missing out on another form.

It took a long time, but after putting him in a daycare a couple times a week (suggestion of a Dev. Specialist), giving him SPEECH nutritional supplements daily, and continuing to sign ASL with him, he has started to use signing and words. Just a few, but enough to make me incredibly happy.

Another issue for him is that he always sounds stuffy. Everyone notices it – he breathes in the daytime like an old man in the middle of the night. It’s loud, it’s phlegmy, and it isn’t getting better as he gets older. Our ENT asked us to monitor him at night to see what his breathing patterns are, and he had sleep apnea! He would just stop breathing for over 6 seconds every other breath. It is the scariest thing ever. So we consulted with the ENT and got his tubes removed, his adenoids removed and his tonsils out this week.

The surgery went great. The Doctor said his adenoids were HUGE and completely blocking his nasal passage, and his tonsils were really big too.

After several hours of sleeping off the anesthesia, we turned on the TV in the hospital and it played a few minutes of Hunger Games. When it got to the part where Rue dies, and Katniss gives her a burial and he pointed to the screen and made a sad crying face. He seriously has a gift (super human power) of knowing exactly what others are feeling, identifying it, and connecting to it.

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